Overjudging My Every Move

Wish I had the strength of a titan.
Rather than feeling like I can’t keep fighting.
Joking and laughing is only skin deep.
If I am wounded then my mind does creep.
Fog descends clouding my equilibrium.
Hate that is all it takes to screw with my hard won freedom.

One slip up and I drop like a bomb.
Not sure where these problems stem from.
Is it genetic or am I cursed?
Whatever the reason I don’t want to burst.

If only I was harder than reinforced steel.
That way I could reflect what I didn’t want to feel.
Hold my head up and continue to smile.
Not feel as if I’m about to collapse into a pile.
Crumple like paper out in a storm.
Pretty sure this is not considered to be the norm.

One slip up and I drop like a bomb.
Not sure where these problems stem from.
Is it genetic or am I cursed?
Whatever the reason I don’t want to burst.

One day I might also go boom.
Destroy everything in the same room.
Wreak devastation of magnitude untold.
All because I did completely and utterly fold.

Fight like a demon but can’t make it through.
Still these thoughts are cutting me in two.
Digging in deep until my confidence is null.
If only I could stop this darkening pull.
Force myself to believe I am but a man.
And that mistales are not the end of everything.

One slip up and I drop like a bomb.
Not sure where these problems stem from.
Is it genetic or am I cursed?
Whatever the reason I don’t want to burst.