Faltered Hand

I stare at these pages for the fourth time.
See my mistakes written in a couple line.
Wonder how I never saw these errors I’ve made.
Am I a failure barely holding on to this grade?

I do not know. I cannot say.
Wish I was still a shining star.
Not weathered and greyed.
Cause in those days I shone like a blinding beacon.
Whereas now I am barely bright enough to illuminate my own treason.

Search for my marbles which have gone awry.
What I do every day is try, try, try.
Never does satisfaction thrum within me.
Is it cause I am stumbling permanently?

I do not know. I cannot say.
Wish I was still a shining star.
Not weathered and greyed.
Cause in those days I shone like a blinding beacon.
Whereas now I am barely bright enough to illuminate my own treason.

Help me. Save me. Guide me. Find me!

How am I so far off track?
I need to make my way back.
Possibility or fanciful dream?
Being washed down this torrential stream.

I do not know. I cannot say.
Wish I was still a shining star.
Not weathered and greyed.
Cause in those days I shone like a blinding beacon.
Whereas now I am barely bright enough to illuminate my own treason.