Open Door

I can stand here no more.
Too much is flowing through this open rotten door.
Making my head spin like top.
Been thinking so long that I just can’t stop.
What a disease that continues to thrive.
Juxtaposition that hands me a last place prize.
Down on the up.
Cursing myself.
Then shirking the lot.
With a head full of haze.
A spine shot to hell.
My next move might just cripple my own future prosperity.

Counting in pairs for no one but you.
Luck is a lie when you submit to everyone else cry.
Why am I here?
Give me a sign before I decline.
Sink to the depths where I can’t see.
Accept that termination is the next state for me.
Pluck out my eyes.
Victim in disguise.
Hunting for nothing.
Guessing at living.
Siphoning solutions.
Every day is a short stopped twisted spell of confusion.

Fixated on what will never be mine.
Truncated as if my smile is a crime.
Bestowed with drive that few can match.
Pity I’m faded from pristine to cracked!

I could stand it no more.
Too much has flowed through this open rotten door.
My sore.
I abhor.
What remains I want no more.