Treading over sodden ground.
That which is born does not always stand proud.
For these times are hard and continue to claim,
So many souls that only wish to live now.
Its why we’re clambering for moments of peace.
Deafening viciousness is not what we want on repeat.
Its claims our chances at joy and ecstasy.
Boxes us into a void of shrinking under misery.
With filters to stop us getting truth.
Might as well be locked in a booth.
Senses dulled and delusions fuelled.
Starting to make us twitch like drug mules.
Trembling in the light of a new day.
Each one we fear what might come out to play.
Narcissist or psychopath.
These options feel like an insurmountable task.
Similar to picking between death and pain.
All they really do is drain,
Life from any wish to continue.
Sever this hose before we’re too withered.
Not stuck in some soul sapping mental blizzard.

Slot all the pieces that lie at your feet.
Find those that comfortably fit.
Write these messages back to your past.
Sign them as proof of whatever was the task.

Sometimes its easier to walk away.
Instead of fight against a tidal wave.
Dosing on chemicals to get you through.
Another tab gone as its ingested by you.
Start at the end when the beginnings too hard.
Pull out a good suit from your stack of cards.
Sooner or later your luck will shine bright.
It’ll burn stronger than the sun when it turns day from night.

May sound random and maybe it is true.
Yet these are the moments where you should continue.
For life can be strange or even tragic.
But in the end it can also be magic.
Give you a stage upon which you can thrive.
Rather than battle to barely survive.
And isn’t prosperity what we all wish to see?
Well I know that it is definitely for me.
So reach out your arm and grasp with your hand.
Make these decisions even if they seem far too grand.

Thirty four and I’m so fucking tired,
Of all the pain and hate we spark alive.
What’s the point in kill, invade, repeat?
If all it births is more of that obsolete…
Way of thinking that changes zero.
Cause right here there is no hero.
Only murderers claiming they have a plan.
Sounds more like a deranged kind of man.
Bent on power, hooked on war.
None of that should exist anymore.
Alas it does as we refuse to learn.
Destroy beauty as if we think it’ll earn…
Us a place on some sort of celestial podium.
Check your head as I think it might be broken.
Yet it will grant only another burial.
A casket to be lowered into the floor.
Whether its by hand or shot out of something more.
Either way you’ll join the ranks of being nothing other than dregs.
A monster to the masses who survive.
One who ruined countless lives.
If you were one and not a race it wouldn’t matter to this space.
But truth be told we are all the same.
Mankind is a self-destructive flame.
Engulfs the fuel and then itself.
Doesn’t try to preserve for health.
While some say locusts it clearly isn’t true.
For such insects don’t murder their own too.
Its why I watch, weary and sick of it all.
These acts belong in history and fictions tales.
What a paradise we would then have.
If only we could accept each individuals path.

Notes scattered everywhere.
Slips of paper filled with care.
Order shattered just like glass.
If only I could arrange this farce.
But these shreds are in shambles.
I’m unable to get them unscrambled.
Mass of pieces that have lost all meaning.
Before long it’ll lead me to screaming.
For order is what I crave.
If there is none then I cannot brave…
What all this could truly mean.
I feel like I’m trapped behind a screen.
Unable to interact.
Just watch this mess continue to detract.
Send me spinning out of control.
Chaos with no order leaves me without a goal.
Its why I click half a dozen times.
As I read each and every line.
My pen then spun around in fives.
One for each of what feels like my cats lost lives.
Is this me and not the rest?
Probably but I’m doing my best.
So help me please to make sense.
Of these things whether they be past or present tense.
Then I can move on.
Continue to be a productive one.
Its what I crave.
Its what I need.
Would be easier if my brain did not need…
To scribble these fragments down en masse.
Perhaps then some order could come to pass.
But alas this is how I am.
So aid is requested to unravel this spam.
Put me back into a routine.
The one I find oh so serene.
Once it comes I’ll be so pleased.
That my anxiety will then be at ease.

Walk through the streets on a silent day.
Everything is empty and I hate the way…
Sound reflects like this place is ill.
Is this a dream or am I falling?

Don’t turn out that light.
I cannot take the night.
Things crawl across my skin.
Forever feel my world spin.
Pressure builds within my ears.
Cause of my mounting fears.

I’m in freefall.
Brain has long stalled.
Feel like I’m trapped.
Sure I’ve just cracked.

Get me out, I cannot breathe.

Locked in a room that I don’t recognise.
Is this real or have I fashioned more lies?
Cannot decide so I remain in place.
Paralysed, I can’t take this space.

Don’t turn out that light.
I cannot take the night.
Things crawl across my skin.
Forever feel my world spin.
Pressure builds within my ears.
Cause of my mounting fears.

I’m in freefall.
Brain has long stalled.
Feel like I’m trapped.
Sure I’ve just cracked.

Get me out, I cannot breathe.

Signature scrawled across this page.
Was I the one who was so brave?
Cannot tell and so I retreat.
Yet again I’m feeling weak.
Give me hope, get me out.
Cage fills me with doubt.
My own prison formed in my head.
If only I could go back and find my bed.
Safety and security.
Maybe sleep might fix this insanity.
For I’ve been awake for a week.
Delirium will not admit defeat.
So my mind is now in tatters.
Too much longer and it shatters.

Get me out, I cannot breathe!

Fill your craving, stoke your fire.
Build your empire, forsake a liar.
For these days are yours to form.
Lay out the blueprint, build rather than scorn.

Hate should not win.
Offer peace in the face war.
Tear down these unnecessary walls.

Realign to centre, not sink to dissenter.
Fashion your future, don’t betray your aims.
Offer aid when you can, don’t be a repressive name.
It’ll help your soul stay in shape, not turn you into a vile snake.

Hate should not win.
Offer peace in the face war.
Tear down these unnecessary walls.

Reject misery.
Turn off mind decay.
Profit is not the way.
Fill your life with what you love.
Denounce that which brings no good.

Step down from this ledge.
Jumping won’t fix your damage.
I speak lies, is what you think.
But you don’t know what paths I’ve been.

Listen to reason.
Hear out experience.
Suicide won’t bring a resolution.
It’ll only leave a gaping breach.
You might be free but those you love will be torn.
Ending your life only leads to more gone.

Take my outstretched hand.
Do not make any rash decision.
Your life is not dying and bland.
Most of all don’t fixate on your inner division.

Listen to reason.
Hear out experience.
Suicide won’t bring a resolution.
It’ll only leave a gaping breach.
You might be free but those you love will be torn.
Ending your life only leads to more gone.

Teenage sacrifice.
Not ever right.
Life gets better.
Things do change.
Do not believe you have to be forever chained…
To your fears, terrors and darker side.
Its something you can survive.
Just take a breath and accept some aid.
Speak your mind, don’t shy away.
You are not stupid, dumb, a freak or fool.
Its just this world can sometimes be rough.
But believe when I say you are more than enough.

Listen to reason.
Hear out experience.
Suicide won’t bring a resolution.
It’ll only leave a gaping breach.
You might be free but those you love will be torn.
Ending your life only leads to more gone.

I hear your tears fall on the window pane.
Bring an end to the tragedy.
Not a pain to the nth degree.
Waiting for your new game to begin.
Just another slot machine.
You’re forever gambling…

With my emotions you take every liberty.
My devotion leaves me torn like an artery.
Bleeding out, I won’t last long.
And what’s worse is you’ve already moved on.

Screams of rage to hide your malice.
Too many strings you pull on.
Manipulation is your duty.
Waving goodbye as if you do care.
Silencing your detractors.
Leave them with a glassy stare.

With ill will you take every life you wish.
My hesitation will only slit my wrist.
Bleeding out, I won’t last long.
And what’s wrong is you’ve already moved on.

Psycho killer dressed to impress.
Upon innocents you put a test.
Leave them weak so you can prevail.
Forever swear to always bail.
Save your skin and sneak away.
Coward scum is your true identity.
No conviction resides inside.
You are nothing but a vapid soulless divide!

Illusion of choice has begun to take root.
Autocratic regime masked as democracy.
Taking out freedom and replacing it with conformity.

Bow to your masters cloaked in the shadows.
You are their pawns…
And don’t even know.
That soon you will go to war.
All so you can die in a mist of bloody gore.

Piece by piece erosion will claim your mind.
Box you into until you turn worse than blind.
Sticking to all the rules they force on you.
Managed leadership that they hide from view.

Bow to your masters cloaked in the shadows.
You are their pawns…
And don’t even know.
That soon you will go to war.
All so you can die in a mist made from blood and gore.

Sacrifice is an identity.
At least to those in power way above thee.
Firing down demands into the mass.
Screw if you want to dodge the draft.
Conscription driven into your brain.
This is all staged terror to make you play their game.
With no mercy or reprieve.
This new world order is a disease.
Growing stronger every day.
Soon it will consume ever ordinary,
Soul who’s ever had a dream.
Cause those in charge want you die and scream!

Bow to your masters cloaked in the shadows.
You are their pawns…
And don’t even know.
That soon you will go to war.
All so you can die just a little more.

Reset the contract that you never signed.
Slave to the trade of what you always despise.
Hemmed in and strung out like you wouldn’t believe.
Today is murky while tomorrow will be sleaze.

Paint in monochrome.
Here I feel so cold and alone.
Disjointed and removed from a core.
All this malice is beyond a bore.

Sold out.
Screwed down.

Tortured by martyrs who see nothing but fog.
Over the top is how this routes become a slog.
Watered down until I’m begging to drown.
Conspiracy to turn my smile permanently upside-down.

Impaled upon a crown.
Ruptured by too calm.
Sheeple neighbourhood.
Sick, tired, worn, butchered…
Evicted sanity!

Paint in monochrome.
Here I feel so cold and alone.
Disjointed and removed from a core.
All this malice is beyond a bore.

Sold out.
Screwed down.

Give me colour.
Fix this squalor.
Sever these limitations.