Vilify

To walk amongst the roses with a smile on my face.
What I would give to be back in that place.
Feeling whole as the sun radiates heat.
Instead I feel like I’m obsolete.
Detached from the world beyond my walls.
Its like I’m standing in a parallel dimension.
Why I never get a single mention.
Simply wade through this treacle mud.
Wondering where I should have stood.
Unsure of how I went so far off track.
Could I somehow get back?
Answers no and so still I trudge.
Peering eyes narrow but otherwise ignore.
This is a solitary tour.
Let me back in!

Smell sweetness while I grip onto despair.
When suddenly I reappear.
Faces stare but they’re aghast.
Why am I now visible amongst the vast…
Ocean where I was once but a shade.
Take me back I’d rather be anonymous again.
Not viewed like I am a disease.
Please oh please.
Sever these chains binding me here.
That is how it works right?
Judgement that refuses to be voiced.
Silent and deadly.
A car crash kind of melody.
Siphoning off my meagre reserves.
Feel like I’ve been cursed!

Victim as enemy.
Eroded yet guilty.
Sacrificed for cruelty.
Ordained in red.
Days to be bled.
Freak in a cage.
Lined up to be…

Judged in a moment.
Marched through fog.
Oppressed until I confessed…
Born to be crucified by mass homicide!

Let me walk amongst a garden.
Smell something other than misery.
Hear beauty sing.
Be allowed to once more feel positive emotion!