Torn by a single accusation,
I feel so powerless and broken.
Do you know what its like to be like this?

Belittled ’til you relent.
My emotions are being victimised.
I just want a way out of this painful disguise.

But I’m not the bastard, the liar, the issue.
I decide.
You will listen.
Understand why your words sting like poison.

Brought low by judgement.
Guilt has become a formality.
I am whatever you all say about me.

Battered by lifes storm.
You have burned my pristine skin.
I hate how all this damning has me feeling.

But I’m not the bastard, the liar, the issue.
I decide.
You will listen.
Understand why your words sting like poison.

Psychotic like so many others.
Stuck in a cycle you don’t even see.
You are a part of the repeating misery.
Unable to undersrand how you wound me.
I thought you were different but I was so wrong.
Truth is everyone has become lost in the scorn.

But I’m not the bastard, the liar, the issue.
I decide.
You will listen.
Understand why your words sting like poison.

No more.
No more!
My heart is shredded.
You might shrug but I’m light headed!

Back against the wall you maintain your insistence.
Even when its clear you’re wrong you stress relentless.
Do you know what its like to be innocent but damned?
While I should move on I’m sick of bearing the brand.
So fuck you for your desire to believe I am cruel.
To be blunt it makes you look like a fool.
If you were better then you would hold your hands high.
Admit you’ve made a mistake and apologise.
But hey, I’ll be the bigger man and carry the blade.
Sticking out my back its another mark I’ve been betrayed.
When will this world see that demanding they are right is where we fall down?

Tired of the endless blame levelled without proof.
Its gone on so long its become a cliched spoof.
Berate this and lie about that as if you are faultless.
Starting to believe communication is pointless.
Maybe I’ll just fade away and leave this space to decay.
There are things I care far more about than war.
All battling really does is leave you drained and poor.
Just don’t expect me to care like I once did.
By accusing me you have shattered my bid.
You are on your own but I doubt you care.
Have a nice life, I refuse to be used like an emergency flare.

Lay in the dark of an early morn.
Peace and quiet that keeps me calm.
Nothing to fear as I breathe in and out.
Soothing to not have to run about.
If only the world could reach this level.
Be a place where there is no tug of war.
Cause all conflict does is bring us low more.

Watching the world go by fills me with glee.
All around there is so such marvellous beauty.
Astounding to think that once it was not here.
I do so hope that the final end is not near.
Cause to see all this slide would shatter my heart.
Leave me in pieces looking for a restart.
I would not find and I’m well aware, so lets not even go there.

Paradise is what we make it.
There are no blueprints and cannot take it.
Has to be forged through blood, sweat and desire.
Passion should burn like a raging fire.

Out in the silence of the countryside.
That is a place where my heart can glide.
Change of scene that brings some clarity.
Helps to anchor down and refuel my parity.
For unravelling aids no ships to sail.
And I wish no defeat to one and all.
This world of ours is for everyone who wants it.

Convenience or controvesy.
We will pick A not B.
Even our planet is up for sale.
Its why we strip while we fail.
No remorse for our own greed.
Well aware and yet we continue to bleed,
What is ours without much pause.
Forever exposing our collective flaws.

Is their redemption?
Think its far too late.
Bartered away to our mistake.

One to two but won’t reach three.
In the stages of insanity.
Pile up junk until we drown.
All while wearing our trash crown.
Sinking deeper into blunt denial.
Might as well be drinking a poison vial.
For chances will soon dwindle to none.
That is when our finality will come.

Time for evaluation.
But can we partake?
Could be our greed is just too great.

Open your eyes!
Before they cease.
Think and realise!
Rather than be weak.
Come together!
Not drift away.
If we do that,
We’ll reach true prosperity!

Roll up, roll up.
Take a ticket, get in a queue.
What we have today you’ll want to be buying too.

Hear the pitch and think its true.
All these goods they’ll push on you.
Swear you need and will enjoy.
Reality it is nothing but a ploy.
Route to lead you down more debt.
Make you compelled to complete the set.
Gambling just without the label.
They hook you right from your cradle.

Called up, formed up.
Part of the mass of this delusion.
Don’t see that these tactics keep you forever losing.

See the graphics and lick your lips.
Fill the ads with funny quips.
Marketing executed to perfection.
Helping you to form connection.
To things you neither want or need.
Tapping deep to excite your greed.
Fear of missing out is pretty strong.
Clouds your judgement so you don’t feel wrong.

Plans in motion and stakes raised to the sky.
Ordered to a barren world simply to die.
Betrayed and exiled out to the sands.
Baron and emperor worked hand in hand.
Leaving a once great house in ruin.
All because of jealous political maneuvering.
But little did anyone expect him to survive.
Let alone adapt, grow and altogether thrive.
Yet he did until he had no true equal.
Then came time to enact real upheaval.
Defeated blades and butchers with ease.
Forcing an emperor to barter on his knees.
For options were short and not in his favour.
Price to be paid for his arrogant and reckless behaviour.
And so the betrayed rose to the very tip top.
Became not just emperor but godhead, the lot.
Who would’ve thought that such would occur.
Perhaps no one including the Bene Gesserit curs.

Break my back carrying those above and below.
Pointed out its too much for me to continue.
Platitudes and statements delivered to me.
All of it just talk without any substantiality.

I’m not surprised or even annoyed.
Simply tired of trying to fill in the voids.
Cause just like a hydra heads they multiply.
Patch one up and five more reach for the sky.

How I’m still standing I haven’t a clue.
To put it mildly I might be held together with glue.
Yet these cracks are now too deep to simply gloss over.
Vertigo has set in as if I’m on the White Cliffs of Dover.

These bruises are my rewards for resisting defeat.
For standing head held high as I’m being beat.
What a statement to have to openly admit.
That everyone else has run away to hide like a spineless git.

To say I am tired would be an understatement most severe.
I’ve gotten so bad I have mountains of fear.
Stress is cutting away at my cloth.
If I had let it continue I would have been less than a moth.

Compounded and crushed beneath failure.
This would be where I’d finally be laid to rest dear.
Tombstone written about how hard I did fight.
Yet in the end it was the dust I did ultimately bite.

Wish I had the strength of a titan.
Rather than feeling like I can’t keep fighting.
Joking and laughing is only skin deep.
If I am wounded then my mind does creep.
Fog descends clouding my equilibrium.
Hate that is all it takes to screw with my hard won freedom.

One slip up and I drop like a bomb.
Not sure where these problems stem from.
Is it genetic or am I cursed?
Whatever the reason I don’t want to burst.

If only I was harder than reinforced steel.
That way I could reflect what I didn’t want to feel.
Hold my head up and continue to smile.
Not feel as if I’m about to collapse into a pile.
Crumple like paper out in a storm.
Pretty sure this is not considered to be the norm.

One slip up and I drop like a bomb.
Not sure where these problems stem from.
Is it genetic or am I cursed?
Whatever the reason I don’t want to burst.

One day I might also go boom.
Destroy everything in the same room.
Wreak devastation of magnitude untold.
All because I did completely and utterly fold.

Fight like a demon but can’t make it through.
Still these thoughts are cutting me in two.
Digging in deep until my confidence is null.
If only I could stop this darkening pull.
Force myself to believe I am but a man.
And that mistales are not the end of everything.

One slip up and I drop like a bomb.
Not sure where these problems stem from.
Is it genetic or am I cursed?
Whatever the reason I don’t want to burst.

I hear the drip drip drip against the concrete drain.
Not sure i’ll ever get the sound out of my brain.
Focus slipping as I slide into a realm of sleep.
As those drops turn from liquid to sleet.

Mind rummaging round to conjure pictures.
Not sure who will be in this round of fixtures.
Will they be people from my recent past?
No it looks like they’ll be from a long ago cast.

Scenario shifts as my mind changes gear.
This time it decides on an episode of fear.
It being shortlived is a hell of a mercy.
Dream number three involves a horse named Percy?

Far future war is the next to unfold.
And in it I am in a war of scale untold.
What might be next I really haven’t a clue.
Maybe it could turn out to even be you.

Instead I awaken to the dawn of a brand new day.
Don’t remember a single imagined thing that happened to me.
Only some semblance of feelings I felt.
A mixture all entangled as if in ropes I have knelt.

Rain transitioning back to drops on the ground.
Its as though no time has been passed around.
If that were the case I would be real perplexed.
And might have to send myself for some sort of checks.

When you’re young you do as you wish.
There is no care for what others think.
You play, laugh, learn and experience.
Filled with joy by all that surrounds.
Then you get older and care about being cool.
Chase something that means absolute zero.
But do it so that you can fit in.
Instead of being the odd one out loner being.
Then you become an adult searching for a place.
Pretty unsure that you will ever fill your space.
Until one day pieces slide and fit.
It is at that point you rediscover old interests.
Collecting cards, toys, books, knickknacks.
They might be pointless but who cares about that?
No one needs to as long as you do.
As this is the return of interests for you.
Don’t shy away or think they’re dorky.
Cause who gives a fuck as long as they hurt nobody?
If you like a thing then indulge it how you wish.
And if others judge then they can go fish.
For child like enjoyment should never be killed.
After all it keeps us young in this hectic world.
The alterntive is to grow old young.
Have no interests and lose all forms of fun.
What a sad state tp find yourself in.
At that point you might as well give up on everything.