Break my back carrying those above and below.
Pointed out its too much for me to continue.
Platitudes and statements delivered to me.
All of it just talk without any substantiality.

I’m not surprised or even annoyed.
Simply tired of trying to fill in the voids.
Cause just like a hydra heads they multiply.
Patch one up and five more reach for the sky.

How I’m still standing I haven’t a clue.
To put it mildly I might be held together with glue.
Yet these cracks are now too deep to simply gloss over.
Vertigo has set in as if I’m on the White Cliffs of Dover.

These bruises are my rewards for resisting defeat.
For standing head held high as I’m being beat.
What a statement to have to openly admit.
That everyone else has run away to hide like a spineless git.

To say I am tired would be an understatement most severe.
I’ve gotten so bad I have mountains of fear.
Stress is cutting away at my cloth.
If I had let it continue I would have been less than a moth.

Compounded and crushed beneath failure.
This would be where I’d finally be laid to rest dear.
Tombstone written about how hard I did fight.
Yet in the end it was the dust I did ultimately bite.

Wish I had the strength of a titan.
Rather than feeling like I can’t keep fighting.
Joking and laughing is only skin deep.
If I am wounded then my mind does creep.
Fog descends clouding my equilibrium.
Hate that is all it takes to screw with my hard won freedom.

One slip up and I drop like a bomb.
Not sure where these problems stem from.
Is it genetic or am I cursed?
Whatever the reason I don’t want to burst.

If only I was harder than reinforced steel.
That way I could reflect what I didn’t want to feel.
Hold my head up and continue to smile.
Not feel as if I’m about to collapse into a pile.
Crumple like paper out in a storm.
Pretty sure this is not considered to be the norm.

One slip up and I drop like a bomb.
Not sure where these problems stem from.
Is it genetic or am I cursed?
Whatever the reason I don’t want to burst.

One day I might also go boom.
Destroy everything in the same room.
Wreak devastation of magnitude untold.
All because I did completely and utterly fold.

Fight like a demon but can’t make it through.
Still these thoughts are cutting me in two.
Digging in deep until my confidence is null.
If only I could stop this darkening pull.
Force myself to believe I am but a man.
And that mistales are not the end of everything.

One slip up and I drop like a bomb.
Not sure where these problems stem from.
Is it genetic or am I cursed?
Whatever the reason I don’t want to burst.

I hear the drip drip drip against the concrete drain.
Not sure i’ll ever get the sound out of my brain.
Focus slipping as I slide into a realm of sleep.
As those drops turn from liquid to sleet.

Mind rummaging round to conjure pictures.
Not sure who will be in this round of fixtures.
Will they be people from my recent past?
No it looks like they’ll be from a long ago cast.

Scenario shifts as my mind changes gear.
This time it decides on an episode of fear.
It being shortlived is a hell of a mercy.
Dream number three involves a horse named Percy?

Far future war is the next to unfold.
And in it I am in a war of scale untold.
What might be next I really haven’t a clue.
Maybe it could turn out to even be you.

Instead I awaken to the dawn of a brand new day.
Don’t remember a single imagined thing that happened to me.
Only some semblance of feelings I felt.
A mixture all entangled as if in ropes I have knelt.

Rain transitioning back to drops on the ground.
Its as though no time has been passed around.
If that were the case I would be real perplexed.
And might have to send myself for some sort of checks.

When you’re young you do as you wish.
There is no care for what others think.
You play, laugh, learn and experience.
Filled with joy by all that surrounds.
Then you get older and care about being cool.
Chase something that means absolute zero.
But do it so that you can fit in.
Instead of being the odd one out loner being.
Then you become an adult searching for a place.
Pretty unsure that you will ever fill your space.
Until one day pieces slide and fit.
It is at that point you rediscover old interests.
Collecting cards, toys, books, knickknacks.
They might be pointless but who cares about that?
No one needs to as long as you do.
As this is the return of interests for you.
Don’t shy away or think they’re dorky.
Cause who gives a fuck as long as they hurt nobody?
If you like a thing then indulge it how you wish.
And if others judge then they can go fish.
For child like enjoyment should never be killed.
After all it keeps us young in this hectic world.
The alterntive is to grow old young.
Have no interests and lose all forms of fun.
What a sad state tp find yourself in.
At that point you might as well give up on everything.

Born a rebel, die a king.
This is how it has always been.
For your days are short and your nights are long.
You still get it right when you go wrong.
With stars in your eyes and dirt on your knee.
What lurks out there is not what it should be.
Its why so many have turned and fled.
Better that than winding up real dead.
Still you took this mantle and ran with it.
Didn’t show you were afraid to get hit.
So in celebration we declared you our sire.
Pretty sure you have never been a liar.
If you had you would’ve fallen and faltered.
Rather these realms are what you have altered.
Taken violence and cast it to the waves.
Dispatched every one of these wretched naves.
Without a blade in hand or a vicious look.
It is likely why so many bandits mistook,
You for but a weak and weary soul.
That was until you raised them like a flag on a pole.
After that they knew better than to cross the line.
Instead they skirt it instead of risk a fine.
Amplified pain reflected back onto them.
So scared are they now of your evisceration.
As a result peace has been returned.
Plus many lessons have been learned.
Principle amongst them is that light will rise.
You just have to seek it out and then nurture it until it thrives!

Linked from start until the end.
No more do I wish to pretend.
Sacrifice money for peace of mind.
Cast out and forego relentless grind.

For pushing on will not get you through if you are stuggling to be you.
All you will earn is pain and decay.
Sickness that eats all your joy and makes it grey.

Promised a crown but handed a con.
Attempts to make all your youth gone.
For damnation is key if I am to fall.
Judgement rendered that makes me crawl.

For pushing on will not get you through if you are stuggling to be you.
All you will earn is pain and decay.
Sickness that eats all your joy and makes it grey.

So take me to the riverside.
What I wish is to indulge not deride.
Seperation never breeds a warm heart.
Rather it stamps out…
Terminates a spark.

And I don’t want that for me.
I want to burn blazingly.
Feel everything, be it good or bad.
All of it makes me glad.

For pushing on will not get you through if you are stuggling to be you.
All you will earn is pain and decay.
Sickness that eats all your joy and makes it grey.

Not how I wish to be.
Feed me empathy.
Allow me to walk my route.
Not be reduced to a soul crushed mute.

For once it wasn’t me who walked away.
Or should I say drifted as is my play.
Never planned its just how it happens.
Life moves we the pieces in differing directions.
Yet this time it was you who moved from me.
Leaving me feeling a little lonely.
Not quite the right word but its all I have got.
Guess this is just the movement of this plot.
Sad to say I feel a bit out of sorts.
Its as if a part of ne is turning to quartz.
Though to say I am lost would be quite untrue.
More simply I am going to miss regularly chatting to you.

Spin the bottle ’til our hands go numb.
Long enough we take one more trip round the sun.
Maths doesn’t add up I’m sure you’ll agree.
For this is madness times’d by three.
Salicious predicament stored in a jar.
Barricade the universe near and far.
With vitriolic tendency bathed in dust.
Fractured by how regularly you broke our trust.

Parrot back words you barely can say.
While preparing your arms to enter this ruptured fray.
Hold our hands until stars have renewed.
Too fast for too long leaves us chewed.
To be spat out as if we never were worth,
Chance at having a future rebirth.
Sad state of affairs born in thick fog.
With hope and intention flushed down the bog.

Queue for summary execution with flames.
All the while spinning round as it goes down the drains.
Fashioned failure tacked on our heels.
Distraction while making sordid backroom deals.
Jovial insults hiding the truth of their barbs.
Obscuring appearance using disguising garbs.
Sick of leading when they can follow.
Stab in the gut is enough to fill a wound with sorrow.

Disaster converted redoubled strengthened.
All while you swipe away all of your selfish mentions.
Is this a card you still wish to play?
To that you scream, oh hell yeah baby!
Cause games are cheap while you take a life.
Drive in the serration of a murderous knife.
Down comes the curtain one final time.
Obliteration will never hide the extent of your crime!

Winds of fire and seas of ash.
This realm is mine and that is that.
I walk these plains as if worlds might collide.
Here I remain even once I have died.
For destruction is origin in somebody’s eyes.
And in the end I am but a heart box of tries.
Inventions that failed yet pointed to future.
Tear off my scars and leave me with a suture.

Identity pushed through to success.
Here and now I regret my insistance.
Cause when the bell tolls for the last time,
I will be joining in with its shrill chime.
Without a care for monsters clawing at walls.
Those beings putrid and lacking real balls.
So when chatter turns skies to pink.
I know that warm memories will be find in a drink.

Paradise in heresy sounds like a boon.
Its why I am counting all of these runes.
Markings from eons that long since have passed.
Meanwhile dead souls have completely crashed.
Lost a will that was never their own.
Mutterings about how son should phone home.
These items churn as if night comes from day.
Birth these statements once more but laced with decay!

Circle of benediction.
Here comes great affliction.
Pounding on my wooden door.
Screaming, we don’t want you anymore!
Criticising all I am and have done.
Lets see where you stand in this pantheon.

Shed skin for disaster.
Born again to have no master.
Picking bones from teeth.
Squandering chance at relief.

Cycle of dereliction.
Put one more stitch in them.
Patter of feet that do not belong.
One false word and you will be gone.
Fated resurrection written in mud.
Never said it was a prophecy of good.

Shed skin for disaster.
Born again to have no master.
Picking bones from teeth.
Squandering chance at relief.

These are the consequences.
Here lies our only truth.
Sift through the riddles.
Determination to find irrefutable proof.
Damning the guilty until they admit.
Breaking bones in hopes that they will quit.
What sort of route is that to tread?
Tonight a single tear will definitely be bled!

Shed skin for disaster.
Born again to have no master.
Picking bones from teeth.
Squandering chance at relief.

Shed skin for disaster.
Born again to have no master.
Picking bones from teeth.
Squandering chance at relief.