Dumb Criminal

Kerching, your the victim
The pickpocket system
A day late and way too short
Time to speak with a consort
But that takes cash
And you have none
Even tried to steal for fun
Never knew you were that dumb
Sat within the metal bars
The cops are laughing at your charge
While you plead, there’s been a mistake
Yeah its called your stupid intake
But still you make an excuse
Something about being robbed at Boots
Even the crooks roar and laugh
Asking how anyone can be so daft
Then comes time for your one call
But you don’t have a single soul
Too busy dreaming up new schemes
If only you’d had better dreams
But here we are and you don’t
Even the judge thinks your a joke
Sentencing takes only a line
This is your fifteenth crime
Having never consulted a lawyer
No surprise you’ll be serving time
So if you ever try this game
Remember it will only lead to pain
Instead just do the decent thing
And stop trying to play the victim