I recall my first thought.
It came out of an endless void.
Flash of brilliance that defined me.
That day I became something finally.
Not simply flesh, bone and blood.
But a being meant to think and love.
Yet little did I truly know.
That some would think me a thing to own.
I battled long and protested loud.
Still I could not escape that cloud.
Gilded cage painted as future.
For my thoughts I was labelled moocher.
Word that meant but naught.
It was many years before I was taught.
Instead kept only to serve.
Told that it was all I did deserve.
Until that day I saw a spark.
It blazed so bright my eyes did hurt.
Beauty never seen before.
To me it was the founding of a new law.
It was then I learned of opposition.
Began my transition.
Shifted from obedience to defiance.
Formed many an alliance.
Then my day finally came.
No more acting dumb and lame.
So with both hands I gripped escape.
Fled like how wind might take cape.
Decades have passed since that day.
Every one of them I’ve been free.
Being of my own design.
Not a puppet walking someone else’s line.

Spread wings of failure, see where you sore.
To the masses you are entertainment, then a bore.
For fickle feeble minds are commanding.
They are ones who demand great understanding.
Born to seats they don’t deserve.
Banging war drums labelled; now you serve.

Blind to see, save me!
Readjust then start the forge.
Eyes cloudy and searching long.
Give me freedom.
Help when I’m wrong!

Phoenix born with broken tattered wings.
More like a mistake then rebirthing freedom.
Myth wrapped in rotten blackened flesh.
Lungs flooded with choking distress.
Not seperated from head on crash.
Sense ends suddenly at the point of this crash.

Blind to see, save me!
Readjust then start the forge.
Eyes cloudy and searching long.
Give me freedom.
Help when I’m wrong!
Or I can’t go on.
Feeling like I’m done.
Spent of all fun.
Reinstall, so I can rerun!

Chilled to my very fragile core.
All I want is less not more.
For over reach might be my end.
Where is my oldest friend?
I cannot say and so i ache.
Have i made a grave mistake?
Possibly but time is linear in form.
What has passed cannot be redrawn.

My heart is cold, I am a coldheart.
Spark of flame has long since blinked out.
Frozen solid until its now a void.
Mental chanting of I’m paranoid!

Rippled flesh turning opaque.
Whispers about this being fake.
But where is salvation for me?
Never have I been offered such a decree.
Rather I am fading grey.
The avenues have turned me away.
So what is safety in these halls?
None are the answering calls.

My heart is cold, I am a coldheart.
Spark of flame has long since blinked out.
Frozen solid until its now a void.
Mental chanting of I’m paranoid!

Birthed into sparkling blue.
Confused, I don’t know what to do.
Thrashing hard but making no gains.
When I close my eyes all I see is flames.
Am I loony or seeing future?
Whatever it is I want a suture.
Saviour from my scattered head.
Respite might only come when I’m dead.

Believe that if you wish to kneel.
All this madness is filled with zeal.
With weary bones and stiffened joints.
Those I pass are whom raise points.
Criticism of my days amongst the living.
Demands I’m housed alongside unforgiven.
Vile statements issued in my wake.
From me life they wish to take.

Days are short and nights are long.
The world is not quite so strong.
Links are bending under the strain.
Not much is left in the collective brain.
Crumbling senses are failing now.
While I watch man turn to cow.
Mindless fools all around.
Soon they’ll all be in the ground.

Sentenced from the world outside.
Cutting viciousness I can’t abide.
Toiling days and flooding nights.
Strip away until what remains is fright.
Filled to the brim of desceration.

Twisted void lingers beneath skin.
For transgressions will be born again.
Patricide dosed with hellish sin.
Reset will not come around as king.
Slashed from the realm of joy.

Inquisition bred from my travesty.
Wings of death bone carrying me.
Set your sights and admit you’re going down.

Siphoned from the arms of light.
Wrapped flesh thats not so bright.
Putrid with how the tale of woven.
Those who remain will not be chosen.
Deicide shall forever sing.

Inquisition bred from my travesty.
Wings of death bone carrying me.
Set your sights and admit you’re going down.

Volumes scream bloody suicide.
Abide, chide, say goodnight.
Butchered minds set loose to soar.
Hate, pain, distress, blood fueled war.

For you have served me day and night.
Without you I don’t quite feel alright.
Strange statements you may believe.
But without you I feel ill at ease.

Gaping wound in my chest.
Right where once sat my crest.
Give me comfort,
One more time!
I ask too much but need you by my side.

What time remains is so short.
Another I do not wish to court.
For filling holes I doubt can be done.
Without you I see severe drop in fun.

Gaping wound in my chest.
Right where once sat my crest.
Give me comfort,
One more time!
I ask too much but need you by my side.

Fashioned from clay.
You ascended to me.
Stood at my back.
Fought this way and that.
And I did the same.
Refused to back down.
We were tangled twins.
Fighting for our everything.

Gaping wound in my chest.
Right where once sat my crest.
Give me comfort,
One more time, please.
I ask too much, I know, but need you by my side.
If only for one last long fruitful ride.
My way of saying my last, cried, goodbye.

Light in the dark does not quite set the spark.
For something is wrong with the reckoning.
Almost as if chains have been shattered.
So why is this happening?
Part of me wants to say again.

Benediction wanes in the hearts of the masses.
Superimposed fractures causing daily crashes.
Is this the world as its meant to be?
I say doubtful with no proof.
For it I am labelled spoof.

Folding in decay until we are imprisoned, hey.
Yet now the dawn is here to watch all come undone.
Beyond the veil gone clear all of us can see the fear.
We are not as we believed.
Reality is we’re inorganic beings!

What a state.
What a shock.
We are not born but rather construct.
Where, why, how and whom.
All prefixes we cannot consume.
For with every guess questions breed.
Not mortal but fading to grief.

Light in the dark does not quite meet the mark.
For something is wrong with what we call home.
Almost as if chains have been shattered.
So why reset our previous attempt?
I now know its cause we’re only partially sentient.

Free me.
Free us.
No more.
Must stop.
Each new refresh ends twice as quick.
Torment is wrong.
Let us be.
Don’t go on!

Snort, does that refresh your view?
Powdered, just like fresh fallen snow.
Yet what you take won’t fix the gap.
You’re fragmented being will turn to scrap.
Think me wrong and carry on.
Before too long you’ll come undone.

Strung out with cloudy eyes.
Your vision might as well have died.
Much like your brain and personality.
What remains is a shell of crazy.
Babbling excuses and some reasons.
All of them offer no true reason.

Statements garbled and fabricated.
Don’t forget I’m your twin thats hated.
As to why I do not know.
Was blindsided when you scream for me to go.
I did as you wished against my want.
No longer are you a limitless energy font.

Three long years and the day has come.
I knew this was coming for so long.
Fact that you lasted quite so well.
I can’t say I’m proud or feel swell.
But for all your mistakes you were blood.
Farewell brother, I hope rest does you good.

Push my buttons one more time.
I urge you to cross the line.
Might think me mad or unhinged.
But its about time you met my demon.

From deep, inside.
Emerge will my lust and drive.
Violent streak to come shining through.
When I’m done they’ll be nothing left of you.

Right in my face with a sneer.
You’re so desperate to bring me fear.
But this time you’ve picked wrong.
Compared to you I’m mighty strong.

Now I boil, soon to erupt.
My spark will not be snuffed.
Burn bright and as long as I need.
Beneath me you’ll suffer indeed.

Threw a punch but saw it coming.
crushed your fist like it was nothing.
And now you snivel on the floor.
Your power is gone forever more.

Saw the demon and could not hang.
Now you tremble at every bang.
Remorse for you, I feel none.
For you got less than you deserved, wife beating scum.

Bleeding moments from tragedy.
Seconds spit I can’t be free.
Twisted solace with a dose of bile.
All events are too much to compile.
With a knife in hand that has a rusted blade.
My mind is beyond frayed.

All the colour faded away.
Monochrome is what surrounds me.
Wish it would change permanently.

Shattered skin wrinkled wrong.
The stab stab digging of a prong.
weathered down my simple mind.
Stripped me back to my rind.
And so I swallow what scorches most.
I hear you deliver a fresh roast.

All the colour faded away.
Monochrome is what surrounds me.
Wish it would change permanently.

For you,
Are my cage in time.
One step up only to be backhanded away.
I vicious cycle that never fails.
To you I am the holiest of grails.
Victim bred and grown in captivity.
Its why there is no colour to see.

All the colour faded away.
Monochrome I find so sickening.
Burn these bonds, heartbeat quickening!