Lost Asunder

I’m ba-ack! Sorry, couldn’t resist. But it is true. I’m back again with another story post. Lost Asunder is the latest in what I’m calling a series of stories. It follows on from Fragmented Friends. There are a few more ideas I have for this series. Whether I write them or not largely comes down to whether I believe they are good enough. If I do then they’ll get written. If not then… Well, the series will kind of dead-end. Wow, that sounds really sad to admit, but it’s true. Regardless, there isn’t much I can say about this. If you don’t want to be a little lost then reading Overcharged and Fragmented Friends is best. Other than that it’s a longer short story at roughly 12,000 words. Have fun!

Sanjiv slinks into his abode. You couldn’t call it a house, apartment, bungalow, shack. To do so would be wrong. It is a single room brightly lit by yellow overhead lights. One in the far corner is flickering. That is of little surprise for it has been more than a year since he last visited this place. He only keeps it as a distraction. A man without a residence draws the closest of observation and the last thing the former Datastar wants is scrutiny.

Regardless of that the first thing he spies having slinked into the single wide room furnished with a side table that the answer phone sits on is the green light which is blinking periodically to inform that there is a message.

In addition to the table there is also a mattress laid out atop the flat-packed pieces of the bed frame it should be slotted inside of and a couple chairs that don’t look at all comfortable. They’re third hand maybe, Sanjiv doesn’t really recall. He bought them off a woman who had been in the process of tossing them out many years ago. In fact, it was probably, he thinks, not long after he purchased the abode he’s stood inside of at this moment. A smirk slides across his face as he recalls such things. Then his eyes settle back on the answer phone and the smirk is gone.

He’d always been expecting to one day find a message flashing away when he again walked in here but didn’t think it would’ve taken this long. Better late than never, he thinks. Not that he expects the content of the message to be to his liking.

Sauntering slowly toward the answer phone, his eyes searching for any possible would be traps, he notes that the side table is caked with a thick layer of dust. That is just how he likes it. If this was his home it would be quite different but this place has never been a home. In total he might have spent five months cumulative based here. To put that into context Sanjiv has owned this abode for almost twenty years and a good deal of those months spent living in this pretty empty space was not long after he and Dana went their separate ways. He knows the message will be from her. It can be from no one else. She is the only person still in possession of the number, as far as he can recall. All others that once had it are dead. At least he’s pretty sure they are. Regardless, the message will be from her. Lord knows for what reason. Find out, he demands of himself. Without delay that is exactly what he does and orders a replay of whatever message has been left via the tiny sliver barely thicker than a fingernail on the top of the black dust encrusted curved cornered box.

The answer phone, base unit only, is the sole item sat on the top of the side table. Two thin black and grey cables jut angularly out the back of the unit only to disappear down the gap behind the side table and the chair on the other side of it. Sanjiv wonders why he ever set the room up in this manner with the side table in the middle of nowhere. If dug a little deeper into his memories he’d recall as to why. He did it to save himself the wasted energy of ambling across to the far side of the room where the wall socket for both power and signal are located. Due to him having placed the answer phone where he has the twin cables stretch lazily across the white tiled floor. Like everything else they too are caked with a thick layer of dust. Some of the layers are thicker than others from his previous visits and movement, but Sanjiv recalls that he has never once cleaned this place since those very early days.

The machine having finished its announcement that there is a single message left nearly a week ago begins playback. Almost immediately Sanjiv is proved correct as Dana announces that she is the one leaving the message. At hearing her voice he nearly turns to walk away. He sees little point in listening to whatever bullshit she might have to say. It won’t be an apology, Dana would never say sorry. At least she wouldn’t once she became Dana the Director in-charge of overseeing the construct following the events that cost them Warren, their best friend.

Following her appointment as director she changed quite considerably, whether she would want to admit it or not is an irrelevance. That was the moment that Sanjiv should’ve seen and known that things would never be the same. Not because he wanted to be director, he didn’t. From the moment it was conceived Sanjiv was sure it would be a political position of juggling wants, demands and legislation forced upon whoever took the job and he’d been right. Sure, Dana as director had been able to maintain, at least when he’d been around, independence from the waiting tentacles of those without knowledge or context from grasping hold of something that was never meant to be theirs, usually national governments, but that didn’t mean she remained capable of listening to people close to her. In fact, Dana thought Sanjiv mad for wanting to believe that Warren might still be out there, somewhere. That was the first rift of many. He realises now that, hindsight is a wonderful but pointless thing, that is when he should’ve walked away. Back when he first started to see changes in his former friend and colleague. But he didn’t. Rather he elected to remain by her side, to help her, guide her if he could and was permitted to. He wasn’t and when he started to show, what Dana dubbed as obsessive behaviour, due to a belief and actual evidence he had gathered regarding outside agents attempting to exert their influence over the unilaterally welcomed and praised virtual network she delivered an ultimatum unto him. He either drop his investigations, ramblings and obsessions, those were Dana’s exact words, or he vacate his post. The decision was a no-brainer. Sanjiv vacated his post following a final bitter row. He regrets none of what he said. He was right. Dana had given up on hope. She dealt exclusively in facts and there was no way Sanjiv was ever going to get through to her, no matter how hard he tried, because not everything could be explained in such straightforward terms. The world is filled with oddities.

By the time Sanjiv slides back into the present Dana is finishing her message. He heard almost none of it which causes him to sigh sharply and then depress the button for a second time. This time he will have to listen. He doesn’t want to but…

Sanjiv hears mention of Warren’s name. His brow furrows and eyes lock on the black box as though doing so might influence what comes next. When he hears the claim that Warren is alive and the broken half explanation that follows, mainly filled with repetitions he shakes his head. Without a doubt Dana is lying. She was never believed their friend is out there and the thin story she’s rambling, quite brilliantly, isn’t fooling him. This is part of some game. For what purpose he doesn’t have a clue but after all these years she still insists on wanting to exert her control. He’d be angry if he wasn’t impressed by the depths to which she is apparently now capable of sinking. Resourceful but will change nothing.

The message ends for the second time leaving Sanjiv to debate whether he should erase it or simply walk away. He’s torn between the two. In some ways deleting the message feels petty. After all, he gave Dana the chance she so confidently claimed he never would. In his mind that means his obligation is over. She squandered the final olive branch he’d left extended toward her. It doesn’t surprise him, though it does disappoint more than he had expected it too. Perhaps, he had always hoped she might come to her senses. Alas, it seems he’d been very wrong. Dana Marcello has found her place, her setting and deviations from her intended statements, which to Sanjiv sound rehearsed; make little sense other than to cover her lack of clarity.

Finally, he chuckles quietly to himself in half snorts amazed at how stupid she must think he is if she believes he’ll fall for such a ploy as this.

Unlike her, he is confident, one hundred percent, about Warren being out there, somewhere in the simulation. Just not in the way Dana was attempted to falsely claim. Still, he feels he would be remiss not to check and so calls on the one ‘person’ he can rely on in this world still, the AI clone of Doctor Helena Tabar.

His call is issued without a voice command but isn’t sure as to why. It could be that this room is too quiet for him to feel comfortable in shattering said silence until he hears the voice of another first commit such an atrocity.

“What can I do for you Sanjiv?” The voice of Doctor Tabar says in his ears. Sanjiv can’t be certain, as he never met the organic founder of the construct, but he thinks this AI built using a scan of her brain must sound exactly as she did. It’s a strong, confident voice that manages to avoid coming across as arrogant or belittling. He likes that. He wishes… Sanjiv trails off. There is little point he feels in retreading that old heavily compacted ground any more than he has previously and so elects, feeling comfortable that the silence of this abodes silence having been shattered, to speak.

“Could you run a check for me?” His voice is louder than he anticipated that it would but settles on the fault lying with how empty the room around him is and it not being the result of his volume. After all, Sanjiv has never been a loud man. He’s quietly spoken until he isn’t. And the only times that he isn’t tends to be when he’s in an argument, or when there is a need for him to be loud. More often than not these days it is the latter. Nothing really gets under his skin anymore and how could it? He’s spent the better part of the last fifteen years investigating leads on people who don’t want to be seen, men and women who work from the shadows. A number of them over the years he’s dispatched but their network never appear as if it suffers, folds or fails as a result of his efforts. It’s as if they have a limitless supply of operatives. That might not be the case if he’d managed to locate the kingpin, or something that could reveal all of their names and identities simultaneously. He has found no such thing but not through lack of trying.

“Of course, what is your query?”

“I need you to check the construct again.” Sanjiv mutters making his intent clear. It’s rare he asks the AI to run a search through the virtual network anymore for any name. Those that work from the shadows have no presence in the simulation and for good reason. If they did then they would inevitably leave a trail by which they could be tracked. Surprisingly, it is more difficult to track people in the real world than in the construct. How times have changed, Sanjiv thinks recalling the past while he waits for the Doctor Tabar AI to respond.

“Are you sure? Is this wise? I foresee you will not be granted the answer that you…”

“I will this time.” Sanjiv assures cutting the AI off. She, it, he doesn’t know how to categorise the AI really, thinks he is fixating on Warren having been missed. That isn’t why he’s asking for such a search. Instead, he wants proof that Dana is lying.

“As you wish, initiating search for one Warren Thewlis. Expected wait time is…”

Again Sanjiv cuts in. This time to announce, “Just let me know when the search is done and what the outcome is. I won’t be waiting here. I have somewhere to be.”

With that Sanjiv does an about turn and strides the short distance, four steps, out of the abode. The automatic door slides closed behind him and having fished a fob out of his pocket he activates the lock to seal this room for… Well, he expects for a very long time. He certainly has no intention of returning.

He will have to remind himself to deactivate the forward link that alerted him to the presence of the message Dana left though. There is no need for it now. They won’t be conversing ever again, he suspects.

With the abode locked Sanjiv turns and strolls casually away from the faded white door recessed into stained and graffiti emblazoned concrete walls. Overhead lights some twenty foot above his head hang from long cords. A few list precariously due to some of the aged cables having failed from the decade’s worth of neglect.

From Sanjiv’s position he can see the gaping maw that leads back to the surface. The damp walls of the underground cavern run wet with moisture that give the air a surprisingly cold bite considering that he is beneath a section of the Oljato-Monument Valley.

One Way Ride

Actors put on a play most decadent
Soon their energies will be spent
Approximation waiting in the wings
Laying claim to the final bell rings

So open those eyes and gaze upon this misalignment
To retread this route would be most violent
For what has formed is not what should thrive
Refute that and no soul will ever get out alive
It’ll just be a one way ride

Muse over decisions so ill-defined
Tear bodies down to the rind
Stitch the pieces until a map is formed
Soon to be the one who is swarmed

So open those eyes and gaze upon this misalignment
To retread this route would be most violent
For what has formed is not what should thrive
Refute that and no soul will ever get out alive
It’ll just be a one way ride

Dredge along a route that has no reason
This is what you believe in
A deity will never raise its head
There is no more pull left in the thread

So open those eyes and gaze upon this misalignment
To retread this route would be most violent
For what has formed is not what should thrive
Refute that and no soul will ever get out alive
It’ll just be a one way ride

Ease

Lying on my bed
Emptying my head
Don’t think about a thing
Just do some living
It doesn’t have to be
Work until your eyes bleed
Such a sad way to flow
Right up until the drop so…
Let it drift away
Listen to the rain today
No more grinding down
Aid to invert the frown
Its not worth the grey
The failing of your body
I made that mistake
No need to fuel and hate
So take your foot off the gas
Coast a while and let it pass
Then start again when all is new
Otherwise you’ll number few

Forecast

It’s been so long I can’t even recall
What it’s like to feel the air so cool
A rising heat swells inside of me
Like motion sickness when watching TV
Heads a pounding like a drum
No matter what I drink I’m coming undone
All the moisture just pours out of me
Like being in a shower you hate to see
Then it comes with a roar and a flash
The sky changes colour and you feel it pass
Before the heavens open up and release
The best downpour that feels like peace
So now I sit feeling like a man
Instead of thinking I’m in a pan
I just hope it remains for more than a day
Before we start to wish it away

Tragedy Is Not OK

Assaulted for being a rat
Then comes in the baseball bat
Bludgeoned til you’ve no sight
Soon snuffed out will be your light

What a display that should never ever be
Took a life cause it was not as hard as it should be
Killed so easily

Scream until you’re broke
Then your throat they’ll choke
Make you suffer for being alive
What a sick mentality for which to strive

What a display that should never ever be
Took a life cause it was not as hard as it should be
Killed so easily

Wrap them up to dispose
Dead or alive no one knows
Care is gone from this line
They will soon be in the brine

What a display that should never ever be
Took a life cause it was not as hard as it should be
Killed so easily

Three booms then you’re gone
Body motionless in the sun
Shrug doesn’t change the fact
They will not be coming back

What a display that should never ever be
Took a life cause it was not as hard as it should be
This is tragedy

Forever After

This story is a first for me. Not in terms of genre (it’s still Sci-Fi) or anything like that, but in as far as this is the first time I’ve written a story entirely in first person and in past tense. It was fun and different. Not as challenging as I thought it would be. It might be something I do more often, if I feel the story lends itself to that. Other than that I just want to say it’s a shorter story at about 8,000 words and I hope you enjoy it.

My name is Niobe Watanabe and I died on the 15th June 2024. This story starts at the end. You might think I’m being dramatic or be asking how anyone can start at the end. After all, you’re supposed to start at the beginning. Well, let me explain.

Like I said I died on the 15th June 2024. It was a Saturday and I was meant to be going out to meet some friends for lunch. Before meeting them I planned to do a bit of perusing. I’d been working a lot around that time which meant I had been afforded very little me time as a result. So I thought why not make the whole day about me, about what I wanted to do. A treat if you will for all the work I’d been putting in for my job. I don’t really remember what my job was now. Something about me being an assistant to someone important. Titles like that mean very little to me now, but that I’ll get to. What I do remember, in part, of my job was that I seemed to do more menial tasks like take clothes to the drycleaners and fetch packages than I did anything I’d call assistant work.

I digress however, so back to the point. Having decided that I deserved a full me day I headed for the shops. A big shopping centre/mall, whatever you want to call it was my port of call. It made things easier as it was meant to be where I would also meet with my three childhood friends Sasha, Clara and Vernice. Don’t ask why her parents gave her that name. From what I recall it had something to do with her parents being huge Greek history buffs. Though, I could be misremembering.

Sadly, I was at the shopping centre for no more than ten minutes before everything went black on me.

One second I’d been walking along minding my own business, glancing through the wide and high windows of storefronts. The next there was nothing.

I vaguely remember feeling light-headed, foggy, dizzy but thought it was as simple as me needing a drink. Before I could act on the feeling my leg gave, I think it was my knee really. I was shocked but I managed no other thought past that.

When I woke up, if opening your eyes for a couple seconds can be called awaking up, I found I was being whisked down a corridor on a bed. I managed to look around and get glimpses, blurred, of doctors and nurses. They were huddled around me. Faces, some of them, were panicked. I wanted to speak, to listen to what they might have to say but I slipped away frustrated out of consciousness.

The next time I woke I was alone in a room. Unmistakably it was a hospital room. The white walls, strip lights and overall sterile feeling was proof each of that. A doctor came swanning in some time later. He’d been a balding man with a strong tan, brown eyes and a pair of glasses that had clearly seen better days. He seemed pleased I was awake. Said it was a good sign. I tried to speak but found no words passed my lips. Rather, I became acutely aware of something in my mouth, except it wasn’t just in my mouth, it was down my throat. I panicked and this doctor informed that, “It’s a feeding tube.” He then went on to explain that I’d been through an operation due to a brain aneurism. It hadn’t burst but it had been close to it when I was brought in. I didn’t know what to say so it might have been a good thing that I couldn’t speak as a result of the tube down my throat. I wanted it out but sensed that was not an option for the moment.

The doctor told me to rest. I didn’t have much choice; my body had already begun shutting down, forcing me back into an unconscious state whether I liked it or not. I never woke from that. I learned later, much later, that I had another brain aneurism. This one ruptured and unlike the first which had only been limiting the flow of blood to my brain, this one bleed profusely hence why it proved fatal.

Salescum

Patented your own brand of hate
All your words are wrong and fake
Sick of hearing you blather on
Hurry up and be gone
No time to sit and listen
Your shining star is still missing
Severed your reality
Just your presence is draining me

Get away
Station not propriety

Forging pain with a slip of the tongue
Feel a tightening in my lung
What you wish is to breed a stain
The one from which comes all your fame
So never come back around
Wish is you will not be found
Cut the cord and drift
Through these bones we will not sift

Get away
Station not propriety

Countless tallies and none were true
What this brought was nothing new
Old pain based upon a shattered display
We need you to go so far away
Punctured holes across our hope
You planned to make us all broke
No care for what would come
A better name for you would be scum

Get away
Station not propriety

Route

Born into the world,
I haven’t got a map.
Don’t know where to go,
It won’t fall into my lap.

I take another path,
Hoping thats its better.
Then I reach the end,
Its like braving violent weather.

Days turned into years,
No real progress made.
Options without end,
Think I should just fade.

Now I wander lost,
Convinced this is a con.
It all looks the same,
Why can’t it be gone?

Sick of this charade,
Just take it all away.
Let me simply rest,
Come whatever may.

Chill

Changing of a season
Viewed like treason
Dawning of winter
Wind jabs like a splinter
Through the skin it breaks

Whiteout of the senses
Filling every one of the tenses
Air choked with brittle ice
Stinging worse than head in a vice
Not sure there’s a shelf life

Blanket of pearly white
Covers whether day or night
Crunch beneath every foot
Mirror to an expanse of soot
This is all too quiet

Rise of the yellow sun
Too cold to melt even one
Silent just like the grave
Challenge only if you’re feeling brave
Don’t undersetimate how long it will remain